Yzak: Like I said, I understand. I—
Yes. Yes. I can't help that! It's really busy right now! The Archangel has arrived and now the conference can truly begin! Surely you understand what that means, mother?
... Yes. I did say that, but I also told you that I couldn't promise it, didn't I?
The war ends and I get assigned to the staff main office, and now my mother begins to make demands of me again. This is why I don't like being assigned to office work. Well, with this line of work my opportunities are certainly few, and there's also the possibility of a war beginning again... and if that were to happen, there's no telling if I would make it back alive. So it's not as if I don't understand how mother feels...
Mm, yes. But I'm telling you it's fine! I am aware that I am the last son of the Jule family, and I'm prepared to do what I must! I'm no longer a child. I will give it thought, mother! And I'll find the time somehow, so please stop trying to manipulate the military office into adjusting my hours!
Yes! I'm very sorry.
Haaa... This all began as soon as Lacus Clyne was engaged to marry Athrun Zala when I was 15, and it's been 5 years since then. They've already broken off their engagement, so if mother was doing it out of a sense of competition she shouldn't feel that need any longer. At this point though it's more of seasonal event. An ongoing battle? Her life's work? I have no experience with such inter-personal affairs. But when I think about why it hasn't been settled after so long, I do wonder if something isn't fundamentally wrong.
My wife. The bride of the Jule family. My wife, the bride of the Jule family. Are there so few women willing to become a part of our circle?
Yzak: Excuse me.
Kira: No, likewise, excuse me. T- Ah?
Yzak: Huh? Kira ... Yamato?!
Kira: Yzak ... ... san?
Yzak: It's Major Yzak Jule! Not that I particularly care if you remember it or not!
Kira: I'm sorry. I've met so many people in the last few days, it's all become a bit jumbled.
Yzak: Hmph! It's fine. I'm not particularly skilled at remembering names myself. But, what are you doing here. Are you alone? Where is Miss Lacus? The meeting is over, isn't it?
Kira: Yes, but I'm ... a bit lost.
Yzak: Eh?
Kira: After the meeting, Lacus had other matters to attend to. Someone was supposed to be escorting me back, but nobody came no matter how long I waited. So I left the room to try and find someone, but I couldn't no matter how long I walked.
Yzak: Because this is the conference floor. Let me guess, you don't even know the way back to the room you left in the first place?
Kira: Ah, that's right.
Yzak: Haaaa... What are these people doing?
Kira: This is the military head office, so I assume it's not a good thing for someone like me to be wandering around in it.
Yzak: Of course it's not! You're the pilot of the Freedom! You're walking around in the headquarters of the people who fought against you countless times! What were you going to do if someone stabbed you in the back!? You're hopeless at unarmed combat, aren't you?! Something like that could start another conflict with Earth!
Kira: Well, yes, but... please don't shout about it.
Yzak: Do you have a mobile device or any other means of contacting someone?
Kira: I don't.
Yzak: Do you know who was supposed to be escorting you?
Kira: Mm... I don't know.
Yzak: Do you know where you were supposed to be going?!
Kira: Home ... probably?
Yzak: And?! Where is this "home"?
Kira: Well it's Lacus' home, but... I don't know where that is.
Yzak: Huh— huh— huuuuuuh!? Are you an infant?!
Kira: How could I know! I've only been on PLANT for 3 days, and I've been with Lacus all that time. People have been picking me up from everywhere to escort me! I leave in the morning and get taken all over, and by the time I get back at night it's dark!
Yzak: I guess it can't be helped, then ... come with me!
Kira: Eh?
Yzak: You can't just keep wandering around here forever, can you? I was just leaving myself, so I can take you at least as far as Miss Lacus' home. But from there, you're on your own!
Kira: Eh? Ah... no thanks! I wouldn't want to trouble you...
Yzak: Why are you backing away?!
Kira: I'd certainly appreciate if you could find whoever was supposed to guide me back, but...
Yzak: And I'm saying that's a pain in the ass so I'll take you myself! You think it would be easier to find someone I can trust to take you back safely?! Here?! Or are you saying I can't be trusted?
Kira: No! It's not that...
Yzak: *INHALE* It's Athrun, isn't it? What did he tell you? Did he tell you that I've been holding onto resentment for you all of this time because of that scar?! That's ancient history!
Kira: That's not it! Well... no, okay, that is part of it!
Yzak: What?! Hey! What else did he say?! Tell me! Hey! Kira Yamato!
Kira: Ah... well... there's the rumor that you're member #1 of the Lacus fan club.... is that true?
Yzak: What?! What rumor is that?!
Kira: So Athrun said you might have had a deep resentment for him during their engagement!
Yzak: WHAT THE HELL?!
Kira: So he told me that I should be careful now! Aaaah, I'm sorry!
Yzak: Are you freaking kidding me?! You..! WAIT!!!
Yzak: Kira Yamato ... really! Rejecting my good will! Just stay lost and never make it back to Lacus Clyne, then! But also ... that guy was saying something as stupid as me being member #1 of her fan club, wasn't he? I do think Lacus Clyne is a wonderful woman, but I am not a member of some fan club! My preference in an idol is more the slightly chubby type that's not very confident in her singing but still does her best with a smile on her face... wait no! That Athrun... even though I didn't really like working with him in the past, I didn't think him a coward! To think he was saying such things behind my back!
Yzak: Yzak Jule, returning!
Maid Hologram 1: Welcome home.
Maid Hologram 2: WELCOME HOME~!
Maid Hologram 3: Welgum home!
Yzak: What?! Maids?? Wait, no... holograms?
Maid Hologram 1: Would you like dinner?
Maid Hologram 2: Would you like dinner~?
Maid Hologram 3: Would ya lige dinner?
Yzak: Huh!? What is this!
Maid Hologram 1: Would you like a bath first?
Maid Hologram 2: Would you like a bath first?!
Maid Hologram 3: Uhuh! Would you lige a bath first?
Yzak: Eh?! Mother! What is the meaning of this!! Mother!
Maid Hologram 1: Good work.
Maid Hologram 2: Good work~!!
Maid Hologram 3: Gud work!
Yzak: Th-They're following me?!
Yzak: Mother! Where are you!? Mother! Please turn off these awful holograms immediately!!
(In the background they are asking if he wants dinner.)
Yzak: Mother!!
Maid Hologram 1: Will you be going to bed?
Maid Hologram 2: Are you going to bed~?
Maid Hologram 3: Ya goin' to bed?
Yzak: No, I'm not sleeping yet! —Damn it! Shut up!
Maid Hologram 1: What would you like to drink?
Maid Hologram 2: Whatcha wanna drink?
Maid Hologram 3: Whatcha gunna drink?
Yzak: Motheeeeeeeer!!
Ezalia: Ahahahahahaha! Welcome home, Yzak. Well? Are you having fun?
Yzak: *gasping for air* You...! What are you doing?!
Ezalia: Hmmm, yes, it looks like you prefer the B type girl. The girl with the red uniform and the lively attitude! She's the one you looked at the most of them all.
Yzak: Huh!?
Ezalia: And you know what? That's the one I thought you'd like too! Ahahahahaha!
Yzak: What... what is this?!
Ezalia: These are the young ladies who are candidates to be your wife!
Yzak: I thought it was probably something like that..!
Ezalia: Well! I can't help it! No matter how many times I try to arrange a meeting you're always "working" and not showing up! So then I try to arrange a video meeting and you won't even do that! So, I had the idea... a way to make you at least see them and take notice of them!
Yzak: [Yzak noise]
Ezalia: Well? What do you think? Isn't it a good idea? Ahahahaha! Cute young ladies that can swap out and come to meet you in turns! Currently the limit is three at once, but if you see one that catches your interest you can meet her in person!
Yzak: Why are they... dressed like maids?
Ezalia: Well dressing them all differently would turn it into a fashion show! Having them all dressed the same means one won't stand out simply from the clothes she's wearing, you know?
Yzak: Aha... But... the voices were all you, Mother.
Ezalia: Ah! Did you figure it out?! That's right! I was able to create the holograms from video, but the voices....! They just weren't working out. And there was the matter of expense. So, well, as a stand-in, I did them. Ufufufufu..! But you know once I started doing them it was fun! Ahahahaha! (voice 1) Didn't they sound cute? (voice 2, fading back to real) Who knew that I had such a talent as this! The next time I have to speak publicly (voice 3) maybe I should do it this way?! (Normal voice) Yeah?! Ahahahaha!
Yzak: Mother... I have a lot of confidence in my patience as your son. But this is way too much!
Ezalia: Oh? Why?
Yzak: Do you think I could gleefully return home to a house like this?! A house that an otaku would die for?! Is that the kind of man you want me to be?! Your son! As the successor of the Jule family!
Ezalia: Well, that.... isn't really something I want. I don't want you trying to talk to holograms or hug them.
Yzak: Just get rid of it right now!
Ezalia: But it's so fun!!
Yzak: Eh?!
Ezalia: "What kind of woman catches his interest?" "What kind of clothes would look good on her?"
Yzak: Mother.
Ezalia: And since you're so slow making progress-
Yzak: Mother.
Ezalia: I can have various places making them..!
Yzak: Mother! Mother!
Ezalia: Not to mention! "Member #1 of the Lacus Clyne fan club" are you?! With such a foolish rumor spreading about, I need to do something as soon as possible!!
Yzak: H-Haaaaaah!?
Ezalia: Good grief...! The other day someone mentioned it to me at a party... I blushed a deeper red than the dress I was wearing! What is the meaning of this, Yzak? Don't tell me... it's not true, is it?!
Yzak: No! Of course not! Is the rumor truly that wide spread? Why...
Ezalia: And ... there are also rumors that you are a homosexual!
Yzak: [more Yzak noises]
Ezalia: Well, that's a rumor that comes up quite often when a man is in military service and doesn't get married, so I don't blame you for that. However! The only reason these rumors have the ability to spread about society is because you don't have a woman in your life!! Is that not true?!
Yzak: [he's dying, squirtle]
Ezalia: So... as soon as possible, we need to find you a girl that you're interested in, so that you can prove it yourself. That you are neither a member of Lacus Clyne's fan club nor a homo! This is your priority mission while you are here at the staff main base!!
Yzak: [MORE NOISES]
Ezalia: As your mother, I will do all I can to support you!
Yzak: [YZAK NOISES INTENSIFY] It's no good! I'm withdrawing!!
Ezalia: Ah? Eh?! Yzak!? Where are you going?!
Maid Hologram 1: Good work.
Maid Hologram 2: Good work~!!
Maid Hologram 3: Gud work!
Yzak: Damn it! Anywhere! I don't care where! A supply ship! An office on Earth! Whatever ship is launching first!! Ahh! The Archangel!? Fine! I'll take even that!! Please! Let me on your ship!
Maid Hologram 1: Have a nice day.
Maid Hologram 2: Have a nice day~!
Maid Hologram 3: Hab a nice day!
Maid Hologram 1: Have a nice day.
Maid Hologram 2: Have a nice day~!
Maid Hologram 3: Hab a nice day!
Maid Hologram 1: Have a nice day.
Maid Hologram 2: Have a nice day~!
Maid Hologram 3: Hab a nice day!
Maid Hologram 1: Have a nice day.
Maid Hologram 2: Have a nice day~!
Maid Hologram 3: Hab a nice day!
Ezalia: Hurry back home, okay! I'll have so many candidates waiting for you!
Translation by Tigoris